Triathlon countdown. With about eight weeks to go, I developed dysentry and a racking cough that threatened to curtail my racing ambitions and lay me up in bed at home. My modest contribution to endurance sport for the well-over-forties, it appeared, was over. Well, almost. A brief doctor’s examination pronounced me fit for combat and off I went, enthusiasm fired for the coming ordeal. You can’t…
You can think it, but you can’t say it. Well, that is unless you’re Frankie Boyle who says whatever the hell he likes and usually gets away with it. Most of us have to opt for diplomacy through gritted teeth. Every day we’re forced to deal with people we don’t like, from irate bus drivers to the thoughtless prat hogging the cashpoint machine.…
Why do the English accept such dilatory and unsatisfactory service in pubs and restaurants when they have every right to complain? Think about that wonderful scene in Fawlty Towers when the American guest complains to Basil about his illusive Waldorf Salad. Wouldn’t we all like to be as pro-active in our remonstrances with negligent members of staff? I’m not one…
I wasn’t on the Titanic but, boy, do I know that sinking feeling. The gestation period for my second novel is over. By now, well into the third rewrite, I should be flying. But alas, the flowing pen and nimble fingers of the earlier drafts have given way to that old favourite, disillusion. My commitment to the project is total. I…
I’ve just returned from sixty minutes on a medieval torture device called a pushbike. This unforgiving piece of machinery (I’ve fondly nicknamed ‘the Rack’) must rank as the most uncomfortable form of transport known to man, and is right up there with crossing treacherous mountain passes by donkey. But, hey, any fool can put up with sixty minutes of discomfort once in a while.…
No – not the kind you’re thinking. The above acronym is known in sporting circles as long slow distance and refers to extended training workouts at a low intensity. The experts claim these workouts increase the aerobic capacity and lead to better athletic performance, especially in endurance races lasting many hours. Google long slow distance and you will find reams of information on…
Of all the anti-heroes in modern literature, Keith Talent has to be the best. He plays darts, drinks beer and watches pornography, secure in the knowledge that life is too short to work and pay taxes. His criminal enterprises are dogged by failure and a sense of impending disaster that taints all the other aspects of his life, including his beloved darts. Martin…
I’ve just finished Duncan Bannatyne’s book Anyone Can Do It. His central premise is simple. You set yourself a goal and work ceaselessly towards it. In Duncan’s case, the goal was to become a millionaire from a background of nothing. Along the way he encountered belligerent naval officers, snotty, middle class bank managers and closet entrepreneurs who failed to disclose the true value of…
