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Tag: humour

What would my mum think?

I thought it might be amusing to compile a list of the excuses I have used in the past to convince myself I couldn’t make it in the writing game. Some of these are old recurring themes, others have popped up more recently. Here we go ….. I haven’t been to university I’m too old I have tattoos I don’t…

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Nada

What do you write when there’s nothing there? When the well has dried up, and all you see before you is an arid desert, your poor, writer’s brain fried by the sun? Nothing, I suppose. But wait. Is it really possible to run out of things to say? It seems unlikely, given the tidal wave of inconsequential dross that passes through the right-hemisphere every…

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Dentistry and the modern novel

William Faulkner said that a writer’s only responsibility is to his art. Mine, unfortunately, is to my dentist. Driven from my bed in the early hours of the morning by a cracked wisdom tooth (how appropriate), I’ve sought relief in the written word and the shot of morphine my manservant has kindly administered. Pain is, of course, no stranger to the…

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Oh, we did laugh…

Saul Bellow wrote a book Mr Sammler’s Planet. In it was this thought-provoking passage: ‘… And this brought to mind Kierkegaard’s comical account of people travelling around the world to see rivers and mountains, new stars, birds of rare plumage, queerly deformed fishes, ridiculous breeds of men – tourists abandoning themselves to the bestial stupour which gapes at existence and thinks…

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Did you enjoy your meal, Sir?

Why do the English accept such dilatory and unsatisfactory service in pubs and restaurants when they have every right to complain? Think about that wonderful scene in Fawlty Towers when the American guest complains to Basil about his illusive Waldorf Salad. Wouldn’t we all like to be as pro-active in our remonstrances with negligent members of staff? I’m not one…

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Keith Talent

Of all the anti-heroes in modern literature, Keith Talent has to be the best. He plays darts, drinks beer and watches pornography, secure in the knowledge that life is too short to work and pay taxes. His criminal enterprises are dogged by failure and a sense of impending disaster that taints all the other aspects of his life, including his beloved darts. Martin…

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Who wears the Crown?

After reading a spate of fairly disappointing British novels, I decided to venture further afield. Where better place to start than America, that vast and undeniably fertile land of dreams. At first I was sceptical. I’d read Hemingway and Faulkner but doubted their modern counterparts would have the same impact. Then I chanced upon Philip Roth. The cover blurb for…

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